Saturday, December 18, 2010

Highway to ....Christmas

Does anyone else out there think Christmas isn't any fun anymore? I feel like I've been run over by a big red and green semi-truck. I'm roadkill on the Christmas highway.

The final straw was last weekend. I went out into the world where, you know, there are people, and all of them were shopping. Yes, I knew what I was getting into. I had girded myself for the 3 stops I had to make, including driving out to one store almost an hour away. All of this in a miserable, cold rain. Store One went fine. The returns were fine. Not too crowded. Found what I needed and got out. Store number two. Sigh, didn't have half of what I needed which didn't surprise me, but did have the stuff I needed for Christmas specifically. Fine. That's what the internet was made for. Store number three. This is the one that did me in.

I was looking for ties. I am the only person on the planet (besides my sister) whose father actually asked for ties for Christmas. So while I'm shuffling through the display, this horde of children (is 3 a horde? whatever) goes tearing by playing keep away with a basketball from one of the toy displays. Gee, you must be very proud of your future NBA stars, lady. Rolls eyes. I dodge the basketball game and go back to the clearance section, where I find the lady with tuberculosis or the plague or something coughing all over everything and not covering her mouth. Sigh. Really? You couldn't at least bring cough drops? Better yet, stay home!

In order to protect myself from Ebola or the black death or whatever, I give up on clearance in disgust and go back to the seasonal displays because at this point I've given up on even wrapping gifts. They're all going in bags. And I find the basketball game has devolved into the World Wrestling Federation, right in the middle of the store. All the while I'm listening to, "It's the Most Wonderful time of the year! It's the Hap!-Happiest season of all!" over the loud speakers. Really, Bing? I'm pretty sure the only reason he could ever sing that song is that he never had to do any Christmas shopping himself. Right then, I forgave the woman for her children's behavior because I know she must feel as defeated as I do. This act, if you know me well at all, is enough to nominate me for sainthood.

And quilting? None to speak of. Which is probably part of the reason I'm so cranky. I finished making two items for Christmas, which for obvious reasons I'm not posting pictures of given that 2 of the 4 people who read this blog are on my gift-giving list. I will present you with a picture of the tie I'm NOT giving my dad for Christmas. Yes, I bought myself a tie, to cut up into little pieces. And yes, I realize it works out to like $80 a yard for the fabric. I don't care.

So, any suggestions on how to recover your Christmas mojo?

Ok, thanks for listening to me rant. Back to quilting next time. I promise. I'm thinking of doing Judy L's UFO challenge next year. We'll see how embarrassing the list is.

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